It has been almost a month since we have parted our separate ways. Perhaps, you have made it absolutely clear that there are no chances left for us and this is the way it should be. After months of trying to work things out, I just couldn't accept or believe this is how our story actually ends. Yes, there were lots and lots of arguments going on in the course of our relationship but after each time of fighting against each other, it somehow just reminded me of how much I wanted you to stay. Though hitherto, things are slowly fading away somehow, I can still feel the ache in my heart and the thought of your departure is just excruciating.
In Jason's dictionary, Long Distance Relationship means pain. Do not get me started explaining how terrible a LDR could turn out to be. If you could not afford to bear with the pain, or even if you think you can pull it through, just don't honey, there is only approximately 3% success rate in my circle of friends, so do not even bother trying.
A lot of people are telling me to move on and you know, meet someone new and get together eventually. I have to be honest with you, I have reached the stage where I am just too sluggish to even get out there and mingle around anymore, like I just do not have the energy and passion to do it anymore. I am that kind of person who wants to settle down with a constant group of people, and not to mention, a partner. I love doing things with the same person day after day, I am just lazy in that way. I have always searched high and low for the person who has the same mindset as I do, but to no avail. You see, people come and go in my life too often, I do not have the courage to put myself out there and get hurt anymore. I may sound weak and vulnerable, you should sit down and listen to what I have been through, especially in the recent years.
I have fallen for someone who I have not met before. It sounds insane, I am not sure either. J was there when I in my darkest times and J somehow at the right time, caught my heart. The same love saga happened all over again, and there I was sitting by the phone waiting patiently for the messages to arrive. When J asked if she could call me on a Saturday morning to talk, I was in cloud nine! Things happened smoothly, though she is still recovering from her recent broke up. Where would life take us? I have no idea.
Life is full of uncertainties. You would end up at a crossroad somewhere in life, where you have to make your hardest decisions, that is when you know you are becoming an adult.
